I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
