I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
