Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am mentally ready for anal.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize