I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
