i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
