I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
