You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Randomize
