I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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