from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
