Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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