first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
