put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
