; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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