South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
