i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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