do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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