am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
