I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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