He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
