What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The air was thick with penises
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
