It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How does it feel to date your dad?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
