you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
