We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
