I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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