Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
