Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize