For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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