If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
