Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
