You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
