chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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