There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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