You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
