He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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