He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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