cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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