i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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