so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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