Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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