I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
