so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
