Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
