he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
