It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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