i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my sisters under your porch take her home
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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