I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
