I look better un-naked...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
