yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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