At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
