My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
