Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
