ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
