Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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