if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The struggles of a small town man whore
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
