I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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