You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize