i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
