dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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