Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
