my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
