All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
