I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
