I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
