question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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