oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I love you.
Bad choice
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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