some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
