I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
