Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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