so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
