I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
